


somebody to cry for

by ThisJoyAndI



Category: The White Queen (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-12
Updated: 2013-08-12
Packaged: 2017-12-23 06:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/922839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisJoyAndI/pseuds/ThisJoyAndI
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(when i'm lonely)<br/>Set during 1x09. Anne struggles with her guilt over the death of the Princes in the Tower. 'She cannot tell him, and it is killing her.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	somebody to cry for

She cannot tell him.

The very knowledge would destroy him, and he is already so weak, so tired of fighting rebels who seek to undermine his rule. She must be strong for them both, for the husband who vowed to love her until the end of his days, and keep the knowledge to herself. The slight on Richard’s name chills her down to the bone, but she cannot say anything. It will all blow over soon and Richard will seek out the true perpetrator - she fears it may be Brackenbury.

She may be his wife, his heart, his love, but why would he hesitate in executing her like he has Buckingham? She has undermined his reputation, undermined his good name, all in the hopes of securing their position. She could weep with the tragedy of it all, if her desire to protect her family wasn’t so strong. Their son is invested as the prince, he will follow Richard on the throne, and her father’s desire of seeing a Neville on the throne will be achieved in time. She wishes now more than ever to have borne Richard more children; a horde of sons to follow him on the throne, and daughters to be joined in marriage with the nobles of the land to ensure their loyalty. But they only have their Edward, and perhaps he will be enough. Margaret Beaufort only has her Henry, and he has provided her with the desire to rebel.

She cannot tell him.

His face is shattered beyond belief, his eyes red-rimmed with grief parallel to the sadness he portrayed during her numerous miscarriages. She knows he would never hurt a child, even with the knowledge of the man they could become, knows he would never think of killing his nephews, has seen the love he bears for their only son. Her mouth opens with an apology on her lips, a confession of her guilt, but she swallows it harshly, her jewels cool against her skin. She cannot bear to look at him for fear of crying; her tragic, sullen king who was once so happy in her arms he pledged to never leave. Now they barely touch each other, and she wants nothing more than to feel his lips on hers once more. She should have never suggested he take the throne, Middleham is where she belongs and the court and her position as queen brings her no joy. There are no friends here, no secluded corners in which she can clasp Richard tightly to her and bask in his embrace. She is the queen, and she has become the queen of stone Izzy pledged to be.

She misses her husband, knows he will soon snap out of his grief and return to her. But her arms long for the weight of his body, her lips have become parched without his attention. Nothing good has come of his accession to the throne, and she wishes to rewind time to prevent it at all.

She knows she should tell him; knows the weight of guilt that rests so heavily on his shoulders would be somewhat elevated if she shouldered some of the blame. His voice is cracked with grief and she wishes she could help him somehow.

But she cannot.

Perhaps Brackenbury had acted of his own accord, out of loyalty to his king. Her violent wish had been prompted by his suggestions, so perhaps he should take the entire blame, not her. What man would listen to her over Richard, their anointed king, anyway? She may be the Kingmaker’s daughter, but she has sworn fealty to Richard and men should follow his orders, not hers. They are supposed to act as one in all things, supposed to share their lives as they do their bodies, and she had meant terrible nothing by her wish. She certainly did wish to secure her family on the throne, but she would not murder the boys if given the chance, would not smother their lives out. Perhaps it would have been better if the boys had been placed securely in the north under permanent house arrest, not locked in the Tower where their existence was the talk of London. If they had taken them under northern control, the part of England loyal to their family, then perhaps Richard would not look as shattered as he does.

She longs to touch him, longs to place his head to her breast and whisper comforting words to him, but she cannot. Her hand recoils from his, and she knows she cannot taint his pure heart with her possible sin. The very thought of her possible involvement in the murder of her nephews fills her with dread and she believes Richard may feel that if she touches him. She would do anything for him, would do anything for their son, but Richard would never forgive her if she confesses.

She leaves him in his bed, his head tilted to the side and staring blankly at the wall, and seeks solace in covers of her own bed, the scent of Richard still fragrant on her pillows. Her tears rain down her cheeks in wet torrents and she knows the whole court will soon be whispering about the apparent grief of the king and queen.

She cannot tell him, and it is killing her.

**Author's Note:**

> Just so you know, I don't particularly agree with the show's implication of Anne prompting the murder of the boys. History doesn't even know if the boys were murdered, just that they disappeared from history. However, this is fanfiction for the show, so I am going along with their implication...even if I don't agree with it. Who knows, Anne may have suggested such a thing, but I highly doubt men loyal to Richard would act without his direct command so...  
> P.S. How freaking amazing was the acting from Aneurin and Faye this episode? While I long for the happiness of the beginning episodes, the way those two portray the tension between their characters is amazing and they should be commended for it.  
> P.P.S. That card thing with Elizabeth of York at the end of the ep was bullshit with a capital B and I will never believe in it.


End file.
